BEN SCHUMACHER... i told you i would find a way to honor you for remembering what your elbow fat was called! way to go Ben :)
So i was asked by my friend Krystle to write about how i am really doing... and i thought what i wrote would be good for you too... so i have included some personal process along with whats next for me....
so, overall i am doing really well and loving Uganda. Uganda, for me, has been relatively easy to adjust to and live in. the only thing that really bothers me is driving anywhere and the roads. they are extremely unsafe because of the terrible condition of the roads and because almost everybody drives way to fast. i know if i come home to the u.s. my speed will decrease (yes mom and tab it will :) ), because as i even think about how fast i drive at times was careless. i have a new appreciation for life and how fragile it is. our life can be gone in a second and i don't want some careless mistake to be the reason for the life of anyone i love including my own. sure i miss hot showers and love it when i actually get a hot shower. when i went to Tanzania it was so great because i forgot about the hot shower game i used to play in the u.s. you know when the water is so hot you have to avoid the water through dancing and try to reach around the water without getting scalded to turn the cold up! i forgot all about that! There are a lot of things i miss when i really think about them, but for whatever reason it doesn't really bother me. of course missing family and friends is difficult. and when the mad city team was just here it was like a piece of home. the first night on the islands when i received all of my gifts from everyone back home I started tearing up. Erin Rufledt and I sat on my bed with tears rolling down both of our faces just talking about life and people. I was overwhelmed with all of the love I felt and how I was reminded at how much I love everyone back at home. It was like a piece of the ones I love was sent over. I got to have 1-1 talks with both pastors… brian and joel. That was great, to have real counsel and authority I really respect to process life with. I love our pastors so much because they are so grace filled, loving and supportive. It was hard to see the mad city team go because family was leaving and the time seemed to short. I am trying to process all of which I feel God is speaking to me (not some audible voice, just where i have peace in my heart). A few weeks back in my quiet time I felt like God was asking me if I would be willing to come back to Africa. After crying for about 10min. I finally sad yes, I am willing. But I am scared. Scared of missing out on something, scared of miss hearing from God… running into something that maybe He’s not in. but I know that I am not rebellious, I know that my heart is sincere before God. I know I have my heart is submitted to Him along with the authority at mad city…. So I don’t believe I can really blow it but I just get scared. Scared of being alone and running life alone, but when I think about it I am not alone at all. Fear of man creeps in…. not having a ‘stable job’… ‘no insurance’… ‘wasting all my schooling’. but I know that God is bigger than all of those thing and that He will care. And I can’t live my life in fear and I can’t let fear keep me from the things of God. I have to keep stepping out and following Him, I know this. So I am waiting for confirmation on where to step. I really feel like I heard from God but maybe the timing is off and I should come home for a year. I would love to come alongside of Elliott and Joe and help out at the training center BI (if they would still have me) and maybe do the prayer internship… therefore releasing my teaching job and find part-time work somewhere) But I think that actually I will be here for another year… especially helping at the school, teaching in discipleship (especially the song of songs), and continuing to help olive and okoro through there transition… which isn’t exactly clear just yet. But I haven’t had any confirming words either way so I don’t know exactly where to step just yet. I am still waiting. But at times I am tired of all of this transition. I wish that I knew where I wanted to spend my life with smaller transitions. When I was sharing all of this with Brian he told me he thinks that I need to pray about being in the ‘ministry for the next 5-10 or 20 years… whatever I felt, but he told me to pray about it. Part of me feels a lot of peace and freedom and like a new brain passage way was opened when he said that. I don’t know but that too is scary ;) what I just wanted to type is that it is just scary because I am making these decisions alone, but really I am not. I have so many friends and family around me to help me. I know I will have to wade through the difference between peoples love and just wanting me home because they love me and what really God is saying and what is best for me…even if its hard, even if its scary… God says to loose your life than you will find it and find it to the fullest. That’s encouraging to me and when I focus on that I don’t get so scared, because I know He cares so much more.
so because of my whole visa issue, my visas expires feb. 21st and i need to travel or give the gov't $1000 (after talking with the commissioner the law has yet to change for missionaries, she is hoping the fee to lower soon)...i opted for the travel since i only have 3-4 months left here and when i come back into the country they can offer me a 3-month visator pass (pray that is what they give me :) ... but i don't expect any problems ) ... so i got an opportunity to fly to capetown and spend time with floyd mcclung's people (he himself will not be there, but his wife and the all nations staff are housing me). so i am praying for some confirmatijon on where to step next during this time in cape town ... i am going to try and finish up my song of songs teaching, as i have been asked to take it to one of the buvuma islands, (I am not sure which one) the first week of march and then i will come back and teach at lingira and possibly Kyoya.
okay well i really love you all. thanks for continuing to stand with me....
mandy
so, overall i am doing really well and loving Uganda. Uganda, for me, has been relatively easy to adjust to and live in. the only thing that really bothers me is driving anywhere and the roads. they are extremely unsafe because of the terrible condition of the roads and because almost everybody drives way to fast. i know if i come home to the u.s. my speed will decrease (yes mom and tab it will :) ), because as i even think about how fast i drive at times was careless. i have a new appreciation for life and how fragile it is. our life can be gone in a second and i don't want some careless mistake to be the reason for the life of anyone i love including my own. sure i miss hot showers and love it when i actually get a hot shower. when i went to Tanzania it was so great because i forgot about the hot shower game i used to play in the u.s. you know when the water is so hot you have to avoid the water through dancing and try to reach around the water without getting scalded to turn the cold up! i forgot all about that! There are a lot of things i miss when i really think about them, but for whatever reason it doesn't really bother me. of course missing family and friends is difficult. and when the mad city team was just here it was like a piece of home. the first night on the islands when i received all of my gifts from everyone back home I started tearing up. Erin Rufledt and I sat on my bed with tears rolling down both of our faces just talking about life and people. I was overwhelmed with all of the love I felt and how I was reminded at how much I love everyone back at home. It was like a piece of the ones I love was sent over. I got to have 1-1 talks with both pastors… brian and joel. That was great, to have real counsel and authority I really respect to process life with. I love our pastors so much because they are so grace filled, loving and supportive. It was hard to see the mad city team go because family was leaving and the time seemed to short. I am trying to process all of which I feel God is speaking to me (not some audible voice, just where i have peace in my heart). A few weeks back in my quiet time I felt like God was asking me if I would be willing to come back to Africa. After crying for about 10min. I finally sad yes, I am willing. But I am scared. Scared of missing out on something, scared of miss hearing from God… running into something that maybe He’s not in. but I know that I am not rebellious, I know that my heart is sincere before God. I know I have my heart is submitted to Him along with the authority at mad city…. So I don’t believe I can really blow it but I just get scared. Scared of being alone and running life alone, but when I think about it I am not alone at all. Fear of man creeps in…. not having a ‘stable job’… ‘no insurance’… ‘wasting all my schooling’. but I know that God is bigger than all of those thing and that He will care. And I can’t live my life in fear and I can’t let fear keep me from the things of God. I have to keep stepping out and following Him, I know this. So I am waiting for confirmation on where to step. I really feel like I heard from God but maybe the timing is off and I should come home for a year. I would love to come alongside of Elliott and Joe and help out at the training center BI (if they would still have me) and maybe do the prayer internship… therefore releasing my teaching job and find part-time work somewhere) But I think that actually I will be here for another year… especially helping at the school, teaching in discipleship (especially the song of songs), and continuing to help olive and okoro through there transition… which isn’t exactly clear just yet. But I haven’t had any confirming words either way so I don’t know exactly where to step just yet. I am still waiting. But at times I am tired of all of this transition. I wish that I knew where I wanted to spend my life with smaller transitions. When I was sharing all of this with Brian he told me he thinks that I need to pray about being in the ‘ministry for the next 5-10 or 20 years… whatever I felt, but he told me to pray about it. Part of me feels a lot of peace and freedom and like a new brain passage way was opened when he said that. I don’t know but that too is scary ;) what I just wanted to type is that it is just scary because I am making these decisions alone, but really I am not. I have so many friends and family around me to help me. I know I will have to wade through the difference between peoples love and just wanting me home because they love me and what really God is saying and what is best for me…even if its hard, even if its scary… God says to loose your life than you will find it and find it to the fullest. That’s encouraging to me and when I focus on that I don’t get so scared, because I know He cares so much more.
so because of my whole visa issue, my visas expires feb. 21st and i need to travel or give the gov't $1000 (after talking with the commissioner the law has yet to change for missionaries, she is hoping the fee to lower soon)...i opted for the travel since i only have 3-4 months left here and when i come back into the country they can offer me a 3-month visator pass (pray that is what they give me :) ... but i don't expect any problems ) ... so i got an opportunity to fly to capetown and spend time with floyd mcclung's people (he himself will not be there, but his wife and the all nations staff are housing me). so i am praying for some confirmatijon on where to step next during this time in cape town ... i am going to try and finish up my song of songs teaching, as i have been asked to take it to one of the buvuma islands, (I am not sure which one) the first week of march and then i will come back and teach at lingira and possibly Kyoya.
okay well i really love you all. thanks for continuing to stand with me....
mandy
posted by Amanda at 4:15 AM
1 Comments:
What IS elbow fat called?????
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